God's Presence in Our Suffering...

"The God on whom we rely knows what suffering is all about-
Not merely in the way that God knows everything, but by experience."

D.A. Carson

"Years ago, I was with a pastor who told me of a man in his church who one day was cleaning his gun with his son. The unthinkable happened - the gun went off, and the little boy was accidentally killed.

This pastor prayed in desperation as he sat with the distraught father, for he was at a loss to know any comfort he could bring. Then he sensed the Lord saying this to him:

'Tell him I understand. Tell him I killed My Son - except it wasn't an accident.'

Our heavenly Father always understands our suffering, for at Calvary, He knew suffering that infinitely exceeds anything we'll ever encounter...Our suffering does not truly compare to His.

Occasionally people speak of their 'Gethsemane experience.' But you and I will never go through anything like what Jesus did at Gethsemane, and we're respectful and wise never to refer to our experiences in those terms. You and I will never be given this cup to drink.

Moreover, you and I have never been, and will never be, abandoned by God. I know sometimes it feels that He's abandoned us; I've felt that way. But those are deceptive feelings, because the One who drank this cup says to you and me, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.' We may occasionally feel alone, but we never truly are alone."

- C.J. Mahaney, "Living the Cross-Centered Life"

"We little know what we owe to our Saviour's prayers. When we reach the hilltops of heaven, and look back upon all the way whereby the Lord our God hath led us, how we shall praise Him who, before the eternal throne, undid the mischief which Satan was doing upon earth. How we shall thank Him because He never held His peace, but day and night pointed to the wounds upon His hands, and carried our names upon His breastplate!"

- C.H. Spurgeon

"He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him." 2 Corinthians 5:21

My Heart's Cry...

I need to read this every morning. Every day, throughout the day, I need to be constantly reminded of my desperate need of God's grace and mercy. I am unworthy, but He is worthy!

"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long." A. W. Tozer

"But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared, He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy , by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out upon us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by His grace we would be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life. This is a trustworthy statement." Titus 3:4-8a

Titus 3:3-8a

"For we also once were foolish ourselves, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various lusts and pleasures, spending our life in malice and envy, hateful, hating one another. But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared, He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out upon us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by His grace we would be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.

This is a trustworthy statement..."

What more can I say? He didn't spare His own Son but gave Him up willingly for us! Don't you just want to know Him more and more? Don't you just want to give up the petty, futile, and fading trinkets of this world for the Eternal Joy and Treasure whose name is Jesus Christ? Is any sin worth holding on to rather than relinquishing it to be embraced by the nail-scarred hands that fashioned your very being? Ask the Lord to show you what you are loving more than Him, and ask Him for the grace and strength to let it go.

"...let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

Hebrews 12:1-2

.

Fear God and Live

"And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell."

Matthew 10:28

"This passage is terrifying to one with a tender conscience.
He thinks to himself, “I do fear man. . . I do fear what they would do to me and often avoid proclaiming the gospel. I must not fear God enough. Perhaps I do not belong to God.”

Dear friend, if you fear God because of your guilt, turn from gazing at your sin and look to your Savior. Praise God that you know you are guilty! Only when your guilt is realized will Jesus taste sweet to you.

Turn and receive mercy from Jesus who paid for all your sins on the cross. Cast all your sin upon him, including your denial of Christ. Jesus died for sins such as those, just as he did Peter’s. Look at how many times Peter denied Christ! And yet, because of the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit, he eventually went to his death proclaiming the grace of God. It is God who works in you to will and to do for his good pleasure — He created those works in advance for you to walk in them. Trust him — let his righteousness be yours by faith.

When you receive this grace by faith, you will gladly lose your life. . . and then find it in abundance. The Holy Spirit will embolden you as you grow in grace and it won’t be fake."

Mark Priestap, Fighter Verses Blog

Resolved 2011 Quotes

Some great things I've learned so far:

"Appreciation does not equal application. Liking does not equal living. Jesus must not be a part of our lives but the Point of our lives." - Rick Holland

"We must have confidence in and submission to what the Word of God teaches." - John MacArthur

"O Christian, God has a hold of you! He is not going to let you go! He is quite able!" -C.J. Mahaney (Jude 24-25)

"It is God's will that you trust and obey the Scripture. The Word is the hammer that shatters the rock. We must live in it and obey it. We must delight in it. Whatever the Scripture says to do we must do it. Whatever it says not to do, we must not do it." - Al Mohler

To Live is Christ!

It is "my earnest expectation and hope, that I will not be put to shame in anything, but that with all boldness, Christ will even now, as always, be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."

- Philippians 1:20-21

"O Lord, You have searched me and known me." - Psalm 139:1

"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long." A. W. Tozer

This prayer by A.W. Tozer has been the cry of my heart for the past two years. I have tasted the goodness of God and have been satisfied, and yet God knew that there was a deep root of pride clinging in my heart that must be removed. I wanted it removed (and still do), but I didn't realize how painful the road would be.

It is usually after times of great spiritual triumph that we are directed by our Guide into a wilderness. Our Lord Jesus was. After His magnificent baptism in which "the Holy Spirit descended upon Him in bodily form like a dove, and a voice came out of heaven, (saying) 'You are My beloved Son, in You I am well-pleased,'" (Luke 3:21-22) Jesus was then "led around by the Spirit in the wilderness for forty days, being tempted by the devil." (Luke 4:1-2)

A great spiritual triumph for me reached a climax at the time of my high school graduation. I was really feeling spiritually strong at the time, yet the Lord knew that pride, jealousy, and anger had a strong foothold in my heart. Sometime after the summer of my grad, I entered a wilderness of wrestling with what I truly believed; a wilderness that would last for over a year and a half. God had some pruning to do!

In the summer of 2009 I began this blog. I was very strong and deliberate in my posts that Christians must give their all for Christ. They must be willing to die for Him. They must be unashamed of the Gospel. All this is true, but most of it was not true of me. I was not practicing what I was preaching, and God was going to get my attention.

Although I don't remember the exact details, I do know that I began waking up every morning with the immediate thoughts "God does not exist. God is not real." I could not fathom where these thoughts were coming from, and I couldn't get rid of them. I began to pray, "Lord, help me to see you! Help me to feel Your presence; know You're there. Lord, 'restore to me the joy of Your salvation.'" Yet, there was nothing.

Or so I thought. God was still there, and He had a very important lesson for me.

"Jesus, can you hear me? Please hear me!" I used to cry silently at night. "Sarah, you must obey Me," He would gently whisper back to my soul. "You must relinquish your fear and pride. You must tell others of what I have done for you." "But Lord, I don't feel like I am close to You. I don't feel like You are near or real," I would say. "Make Yourself real to me, again."

"I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry. He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, and He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; many will see and fear and will trust in the Lord."

- Psalm 40:1-3

"We don't live by what we feel; we live by what is real!" - C.J. Mahaney

Well, I wasn't always as patient as I should have been, but O was Jesus Christ patient with me! As I struggled with "feelings", God brought me strength through these things:


"I've got something to say
It's been one of those days
When I'm finding it hard to believe in You

I've got something to say
I've forgotten how to pray
And I'm finding it hard to believe the truth

I've got something to say
Right now it feels like You are slipping away
Like I am drowning in a crisis of faith
Like I'm alone

I've got something to say
What was black and white is grey
And I'm finding it hard to believe in You

And faith might mean there won't be answers
And hope might mean enduring through the night
But help me not forget in darkness
The things that I believed in light" (Starfield)

God used this song to really pierce my heart. I began to realize that though I may feel like God is not real or not really there, I must have faith. I must have hope. I must obey. Even in the dark times, I must remember "the things that I believed in light."

"Since I am afflicted and needy, let the Lord be mindful of me. You are my help and my deliverer; do not delay, O my God."

- Psalm 40:17

God did not delay. With His everlasting arms He lifted me up, and He did this through Psalm 42.

"As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants for You, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God; When shall I come and appear before God?
My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all day long,
'Where is your God?'
These things I remember and I pour out my soul within me...

"Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence.
O my God, my soul is in despair within me; therefore I remember You...

"Deep calls to deep at the sound of Your waterfalls;
All Your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me.
The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime;
And His song will be with me in the night, a prayer to the God of my life.
I will say to God my rock, 'Why have You forgotten me?
Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?'
As a shattering of my bones, my adversaries revile me, while they say to me all day long,
'Where is your God?'

"Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God."

Though my heart was in despair and it seemed that "all (His) breakers and (His) waves" were rolling over me, and when it seemed that God had forgotten about me, and my enemies continued to taunt me saying, "Where is your God?", Christ allowed me to hope. As He gave me the strength to obey Him, He restored to me the joy of my salvation!

"Glory in His holy name; Let the heart of those who seek the Lord be glad."

-Psalm 105:3

Two things I have learned from this experience and hope you will take to heart:

1. "We don't live by what we feel; we live by what is real!" &
2. We must obey Christ, no matter the circumstances or how we feel.

Though I still am proud, still fear man, still have doubts, still am tempted to live by what I feel and not by what is real, and still sin, I now know that I must stop listening to myself! I must talk to myself, telling myself to "hope in God!" I must remain steadfast upon the Lord.

"It is a trustworthy statement:
For if we died with Him, we will also live with Him;
If we endure, we will also reign with Him;
If we deny Him, He also will deny us;
If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself."

- 2 Timothy 2:11-13

So, dear friend, take courage! Our God is a strong fortress around us. He is here, and He is not silent.

Desperate for God...

"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long." A. W. Tozer